


Do you?

by Nicola08



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7029016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicola08/pseuds/Nicola08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place where 10x12 left off. April and Jackson are left to handle the repercussions of his actions. Mostly Japril, but has some Kepzona, Mapril, Alex, and Papa Kepner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The way you look at him.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on 12/22/13. I am moving my works from ff.net. This was my second fic ever, so I am too terrified to read it, but wanted to post it here. Enjoy :)

"Do you?"

April thought that today a man would be saying, "I do" to her. Now she had her terrified best friend standing in front of her asking her if she loved him back. April hadn't taken her eyes off of the blue orbs staring at her from across the room. Time stood still. She had no idea how much time had passed since Jackson stopped speaking and neither one of them had drifted their eyes elsewhere. April's heart was racing and her throat felt like it was drier than the Sahara. She needed to move or do something, but all the bride could manage to do is swallow hard. Normally, April rose above in a crisis. She was a freaking trauma surgeon for goodness sake.

The room was practically silent and April didn't hear Matthew calling her name until she felt his sweaty palm gently pull at her arm. The paramedic guided April out the side of the Church and into the rectory. The red head was too nervous to look back at Jackson. Now that she was finally moving she didn't want to risk falling flat on her face. There had already been enough people humiliated that day and truthfully April was not one of them.

The couple that was supposed to be married that day sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. April kept her eyes on the front of her dress and fidgeted with the ring around her finger. She took a deep breath and looked into Matthew's eyes for the first time since Jackson had spoken.

"Matthew...I..uh I don't know what to say. You would think that someone who loves to talk as much as I do would be able to find the words to say right now. I had no idea that...that Ja-Jackson was going to do that. I would never ever set out to hurt you. I..I..Matthew say something please!"

Matthew's face softened and he let out a small laugh. How was he even laughing right now? The groom grabbed April's hands and looked up at her.

"You know I should've seen this coming. Your reaction on the night of the bus explosion said everything. And you know what? I'm an idiot for choosing to ignore it. I know you would never set out to hurt me April, but right now I am hurting. I'm pissed at you. I'm pissed at Jackson. But most of all I'm pissed at myself. It's always been him and I know you were just trying to convince yourself that we could work out. And we were never gonna work out. Even if we made it through today together. You know why? Because you have never looked at me the way that you look at him. And you never would. I have to let this go, let us go. Because it wouldn't be fair to either one of us. See this...this is the Christian in me speaking, but that doesn't erase the fact that I am furious. And even if we went through with this today I would never be able to look at you the same way again."

Matthew let go of April's hands and she wiped a stray tear running down her cheek.

"This is why I could've married you. You really are an amazing person and thank you for everything. I'm so, so sa-sorry." April choked out in a sob.

"I guess this is goodbye then" Matthew replied. He rose from his chair without making eye contact and walked out of the room.

"Goodbye," April whispered as she watched the man that she loved second best walk out of the room.

April sat in the rectory in silence. She heard a knock on the door and almost jumped out of her seat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! I just thought you could use a friend." Arizona said with a faint smile.

"Ari-Arizona, no it's fine. Thanks. You really are a great friend and a great..a gr gr-great maid of honor." April said letting out a quiet sob.

"Sshh sshh it's okay. Matthew told everyone to leave. It's just me and you right now." Arizona said pulling April in for an embrace and rubbing calming circles on her back.

Me and you. April had heard those words before, but in a totally different situation. Yet all of this came back to one source: Jackson. Oh god Jackson.

"So...everyone's gone?" April asked pulling her head off of Arizona's shoulder.

"Well...I'm not sure. Matthew told everyone to leave and as he was walking out he..um well he punched Jackson in the face. I had to have Owen restrain Karev cause he was about to fight back for Avery. Can't have him messing up that hand. I have never understood why boys get so into that stuff. I guess they really are all cave men." Arizona said with a chuckle.

April let out a little laugh too. Never a dull moment with her coworkers. "Hey Arizona, can I ask you something?"

The blonde looked up at her friend with wide eyes, "Yeah..yes of course! Do you need me to get you something to eat or a drink or a change of clothes or..."

"Arizona stop! You're going to freak me out! And I'm already a little on edge to begin with given the events that have transpired today." The trauma surgeon replied.

"Sorry! I just want to be helpful. And this situation is new to me and I don't want to make things harder for you April. Should I get Mere? She has more experience with wedding fiascos." Arizona quickly covered her mouth and gasped. "You know what I'm just gonna zip it and let you speak."

"Arizona you're doing great. And thank you. Okay..um..do you think that two people who have really hurt each other can make things work? Can they have a chance at truly being happy together? Because I'm scared. I'm scared out of my mind and I just need to know what to do. I wish there was some instruction manual on this because I'm kinda a control freak and I don't know what's gonna happen. With Jackson things have never gone as we planned. And things with him are far from perfect, but with him I feel free. He changed me and I feel...I feel alive with him. But...we have hurt each other so much and I don't know if I can go through with all of this again."

Arizona took a deep breath and ushered them over to the couch on the other side of the room. "You know when I was freaking out earlier?" April nodded her head and Arizona continued. "Well I'll let you in on a little secret. We are all scared. It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose. The easy route may be less painful, but I mean come on! What fun is that?"

Both of the ladies burst out laughing. The line wasn't even that funny, but looking back on both of their lives nothing had been easy. It was like God was mocking April on her wedding day for trying to take this route. He wasn't having any of it. This wasn't in His plan for her and if April was being honest with herself she knew that all along.

"Thanks again Arizona. I'm gonna go check to see if anyone is still here." April pulled he friend into a hug and then headed back into the church.

There was only one person left there. "Daddy?" He father looked up at her with tired and sympathetic eyes. "Da-Dad I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment and I will pay you back every cent you spent on this wedding." April was just now crying uncontrollably. She felt awful for bringing her family out here and wasting their time and money.

"Oh April, sweetheart. You are far from a disappointment. Honey, you are one of my greatest accomplishments." Joe Kepner stood up and pulled his little girl in for a hug. The kind of hug that only daddies can give. "Nothing you could do would change how much I love you. You are my star, remember?" Her father said while whipping a few stray tears away.

"Always. I love you so much, Dad." Always. Another word that rang in her head. _I love you, April. I always have._

"Oh and that Jackson boy left something with me for you." April stood there with her mouth gapped. Jackson had talked to her father? Joe let go of his daughter and reached down into the pew. "I love you pumpkin and I just want you to be happy. I'll give you a few minutes and will meet you in the car." Joe said handing April a brown box and walking out of the church.

April starred down at the box. It was one she had picked out for the wedding. She opened it and a butterfly flew out. Was this supposed to be some twisted joke on Jackson's end? Then something caught her eye. Scribbled on the inside of the top box was a message in Jackson's handwriting.

_April, I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry for ruining your wedding, but I am not sorry that I am in love with you. And I am not sorry that I told you. It's always been me and you and I want it to always be me and you. Take all the time you need, but when you're ready to talk come find me. I love you, always._


	2. The taste that your lips allow

Jackson sat on the couch checking his phone for what felt like the thousandth time in the past five minutes. He told April to take all the time she needed, he ruined her freaking wedding day, and yet he was expecting her to give him some sort of response now.

"You're a pig." Jackson quietly said to himself. He stood up and started pacing the room and continued to mumble to himself. "You're such an idiot. You waited until today to tell her. What kind of moron does that man. I mean...pathetic..completely.." Jackson was cut off by a knock on the door.

As the plastics fellow opened the door a look of disappointment spread over his face.

"Avery, man! Why the sad face...Oh yeah I almost forgot that you ruined Kepner's freaking wedding." Alex responded with a laugh.

"Nice to see you to friend." Jackson let out with a huff.

"Listen dude I just thought you could use a drinking buddy tonight. Just promise to not get mopey and all I love April and can't live without her and shit." Alex said with a scrunched up face.

"Wow Alex thanks for being such a great friend. You really are my BFF." The Avery said sarcastically.

"Do you wanna go get a drink at Joe's or not? I mean part of me is embarrassed to be seen with you because of that shiner on your face...and the fact that half of the hospital probably hates you. But I've been there before and alcohol always helps...sort of."

"No I'm down. Let me just grab my phone and we'll head out." Jackson said walking over towards the couch. He needed to at least attempt to get his mind off of everything.

* * *

Four scotches in and Jackson still only had one person on his mind. The alcohol was supposed to make him feel better, yet it seemed to be having the opposite effect. Jackson got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He had to call her. He just wanted to hear April's voice. Jackson reached into his pocket to pull out his phone and failed to find it. Karev must've swiped it off of him earlier. Despite all the crap Alex gave Jackson, he really was looking out for him.

Alex pulled up outside of Jackson's apartment. "You sure you can make it to the door without me holding your hand?" Alex called out as a semi-drunk Jackson fumbled towards his complex.

"I think I'll manage. Thanks for the ride man." Jackson yelled over his shoulder. All he wanted to do was pass out in his bed and try to forget about the mess he made for a few hours.

Jackson was almost to his door when he saw someone siting on the ground and hunched over in his doorway. The red curls and petite frame told him who it was instantly.

"Ap-April?" Jackson let out in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

April peered up and the look on her face went from groggy to enraged in about 2.5 seconds. The trauma surgeon leapt to her feet and began taking quick strides in Jackson's direction.

"Y-you!" the feisty redhead said pointing a finger at the pretty eyed man in front of her. "You are such...an ass!" April was not normally one to say curse words, but in her mind today she could say whatever she wanted to.

"How could you!" April lunged forward and began shoving the idiot in front of her.

Jackson was strong and could've easily stopped her. But just like the night of the bus explosion he just stood there and took it. He deserved it. Anything that she threw at him...literally in this case, he would take.

April now began throwing her fists at his chest. "I am so mad at you right now! You have no idea how much rage I have in me Jackson Avery! I wa-was getting married today! Everything looked perfect! I was gonna walk off into the sunset with Matthew and we were going to start our lives together." April's punches began to slow down.

"I deserve to be happy Jackson, I really..I really do. And I'm mad that you ruined my day, I am. But do you wanna know what I'm the most angry about?" April's features had softened and she made eye contact with Jackson for the fist time since he stopped her wedding.

Jackson was scared to speak because he was afraid he would say something stupid so he just nodded. April always knew how to read his eyes and he just said what he needed to say through them.

Taking a deep breath the ex bride to be continued. "I'm mad that you waited so long. I told you how I felt." April let out covering her heart with her hands. "I said that I wanted you and it wasn't enough for you then. I-I wasn't enough." Water gathered in pools at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked those tears back.

"April." Jackson's voice was barely audible. He began to take a step towards her. How could she think that about herself?

April put her hand on Jackson's chest stopping him. "No..no you've said enough today. Let me finish."

The woman that Jackson loved looked up at the sky and began ringing out her hands. After what felt like hours she stopped moving and looked right at Jackson.

"You know they say that the people who mean the most to you are the ones can hurt you the most. When you walked away Jackson..I..I was hurt. I was more than hurt. A part of me felt empty. And I tried to fill that hole, I really did try. I thought I could move on with Matthew and that he could be the man that I wanted. But it was never going to work, even if I went through with today."

April looked down at the ground and bit her lip. Taking one more deep breath she looked up at Jackson again.

"I'm scared, Jackson. No I take that back, I'm terrified. We've hurt each other so much and I don't know if that's what it's supposed to be like. I barely know anything when it comes to this stuff, but I do know one thing. I know that when we were together I felt something I never felt before. And when...when that bus exploded and I...I thought you had died..." April gave up holding back her tears now. She closed her eyes and let them run down her cheeks.

April felt a familiar hand brush away the tears on her face. With her eyes still shut she placed her own hand over his.

Opening her eyes April let out a sigh. "I'm terrified because...because I love you too, you idiot!"

April tried to look down, but Jackson's hand lifted up her chin. After a few moments of silence Jackson finally spoke. "You're incredible, you know that right?"

Jackson inched his face closer to April's. His lips were hovering in front of April's, almost touching. Jackson's free hand found home around April's waist. He wanted to kiss her right now more than he wanted to do anything in his life, but the choice was April's to make. Jackson licked his lips and April's breath caught in her throat.

Her heart was about to hammer out of her chest. April brought her hands up to the back of Jackson's head and slowly ran her fingertips along his scalp. It had been far too long since they had been this close to one another. The smell of him was intoxicating. He smelled like cologne mixed with his own natural musk and a hint of scotch.

Jackson moved his hand from April's waist to the side of her face so that both of his hands were cupping her cheeks. Their eyes hadn't left each other's once and Jackson wasn't sure if he could resist kissing her much longer.

April's eyes briefly drifted to Jackson's lips and then back up again. The red head could see that the beautiful man across from her was growing impatient, but she wanted to make him suffer just a tiny bit. April moved her hands down to Jackson's neck and gave him one last look before pulling him into a searing kiss.

It had been over a year since their lips had met, but they quickly found their rhythm. Jackson's teeth tugged at April's bottom lip and she let out a soft moan. God she had missed this.

Jackson, still with April's lip between his teeth heard April and looked up at her. She was always beautiful, but right now she was breathtaking. They continued to kiss as their tongues fought for dominance.

April felt her back hit the cold stone wall behind her. She raked her fingernails across Jackson's scalp and then continued to move them down to his back.

They made out like horny teenagers for a few more minutes, until they were interrupted by a slamming door. Jackson pulled away quickly and looked up. It was his neighbor.

An old man dressed in a bathrobe and slippers stood in the hallway scratching his head. "I'm all for young love, but you two are preventing me from getting my beauty sleep. Would ya please take it inside already!" And with that he marched back into his apartment and closed the door.

April and Jackson looked at each other shocked.

"Well I hope I'm not messing up Mr. Bell's swim suit shoot tomorrow." Jackson said with an amused look on his face. Both of them looked down the hall once more and then at each other. Noises filled the air as they both burst out into uncontrollable laughter. This kind of laughter reminded them of the time they ran back to April's hotel room the night of the boards. Back before everything changed.

"It's nice that after all this time...after all the crap we've been through, we can still laugh like this." Jackson said tucking a piece of hair behind April's ear.

April felt a shiver go down her spine. She loved it when Jackson played with her hair. "I know. I love that about us." April said taking her bottom lip into her own mouth.

"Do you..do you want to come in? We don't have to do anything, but it's late and you must be tired." Jackson said as his eyes scanned April.

"You know I want to, but I really should go." April said pointing to the parking lot. "My sisters are at my apartment and they are probably wondering where I am." Yes that was true, but April had other reasons for not staying.

"Okay and since we are doing this whole honestly thing now I want to take things slow. We haven't always been the best with self control...and I..um I shouldn't stay tonight. Even if I really, really, really want to." April said looking down at Jackson's lips.

He couldn't help but notice the emphasis she put on the end of that statement. He really wanted her to stay too, especially now. But they were going to do things right this time. "Okay, well at least let me walk you to your car."

"That would be great." April said blushing.

Jackson took April's hand in his and led them to the parking lot. As they walked he rubbed his thumb over hers. When they reached her car, Jackson faced April and took her other hand in his.

"I know you're still mad. I really screwed up this time, but I'm gonna spend all the time you need making everything up to you. I love you, April and I will never leave you again. I promise." Jackson said with a shaky voice.

This was the first time he had privately said this to April and it made him just as nervous as it did in that church full of people.

April's eye's brightened and she pursed her lips. "And I know you're sorry. I could never stay mad at you, but I'm not letting you off the hook for all of this either."

April pulled her man in for a hug. She missed the warmth of his embrace and just need to feel safe for a minute.

Jackson responded and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and pulled her as close as he could. He brought his hand up to her hair and inhaled the smell of her fruity shampoo. Jackson closed his eyes and for the first time in a long time everything felt right.

April moved her hands to Jackson's shoulders and stood up on her tippy toes. Jackson could feel her warm breath on his neck and gulped.

April brought her mouth to Jackson's ear and began to whisper. "I'll see you soon. Oh and one more thing...I love you too. Goodnight Jackson."

"Goodnight babe." Jackson said in a raspy voice pulling April in for one last kiss. He then opened her car door for her and made sure she was all the way in before shutting it.

This was not how Jackson saw his evening ending, but for that he was thankful. Life never goes the way you plan it. Jackson walked back to his apartment grinning from ear to ear. He was the luckiest person on the planet. The person he loved decided to love him back.


End file.
